On Jan 15, it’ll be two years since my last drink. And it’s only when you’ve been away from it, looking at it from the outside that you realize it: everybody around you is getting hammered, all the time. Great piece
Thank you! There’s more to come. Did you see the piece in The NY Times today about the U.S. Surgeon General advising warning labels on alcohol ? There’s a movement starting.
Waaay too relatable for me. I had to get away from all the family toxicity caused by generations of drunkenness, and chose not to have children because I believe that there is a genetic component to alcoholism. Been a black sheep for 40 years because I wouldn't join in the partying, and only rarely have a drink. I'm still learning about the negative impacts it had on me during my childhood and all through young adulthood. Thank you for drawing attention to America's drug of choice. It's about time we stop denying that alcohol addiction is far more prevalent and destructive than folks want to let on.
Wise words. We are in an unfortunate club. I abandoned my parents like they abandoned me. There is definitely a genetic component. I did have children but likely drove them to therapy from my over reaction when they got drunk. Just normal college antics but it hit a few buttons. I like to say I did my job if my kids are in therapy by the time they are 40. I love your line “America’s drug of choice.” Thank you for reading it.
When traveling to other countries, I've noticed there isn't the emphasis on drinking that there is here. Trying to jumpstart the conversation. Great story in today's NYTimes about the correlation between breast cancer and alcohol. Maybe that will get everyone's attention. Thank you for your comment.
This is odd; husband is an alcoholic. He is in emergency ward. He passed out coming up from the basement. Called ambulance as he out weighs me by 76 lbs.
He is in hospital and I really don't want him back.
I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. Living with an addict drove my mother into deep depression and alcoholism herself. She ended up giving up on life and lying down on the sofa. When we found her she weighed 86 pounds and had Korsakoff’s Syndrome from alcohol withdrawal. Don’t let this happen to you. Therapy saved me. Take care, Elsie. ❤️
I have no intention of doing that. I'm taking his glasses to him today in the hospital. Hoping he has to stay a few days. I WON'T BE VISITING. HE CAN STAY THERE BY HIMSELF AND THINK
I’m the adult child of two alcoholics, my dad died when he was 48 years old- a horrible death from alcoholism. My mom died 6 months ago after cancer surgery- she was sober off and on over the years. My sister is in recovery from opioid addiction. All of my trauma is from addiction in my family. Alcoholism is an epidemic that is multigenerational in many ways- it’s so sad. I’m trying so hard to break the cycle with my kids. To not pass on this trauma. I read a book called the Addiction Inoculation that was really helpful.
I'm so sorry you are a part of this terrible club of children of alcoholics. Thirty to 40% of us develop a substance abuse problem after growing up with alcoholics. You are not alone. Substack is a great place for us to talk and heal. I also worked very hard to break the cycle with my kids. I'm sure my over-the-top reaction to their college drinking will keep them in therapy for life. Haha! But neither of them drink much. I'm so thankful. My siblings also escaped but not without pain. Keep learning. I wish you strength.
When a legal option to numb your pain is so readily available, it’s no wonder people turn to it. I’ve seen lives and families destroyed by the need to cope with “something,” especially when that something is dangled as safe if used in moderation. Few have the willpower to resist, yet the blame of excess falls solely on them. Junk food, pornography, drugs, opioids, alcohol, social media etc. the access now is so easy. The addiction seems easy to create somehow. Thank you for sharing this, it really resonated but I imagine it brought back painful memories for you. Great read. ❤️
Well said. I loved "... dangled as safe if used in moderation." So true! Why isn't this a national initiative? There are billboards of people who have died from opioids. Imagine if we had billboards for people who have died from alcohol-related causes. We'd use every billboard.
Excellent and needed article. It is astonishing how the stigma of alcoholism still stands in the way of research and treatment of such a destructive and widespread disease (or disorder or whatever you choose to call it). Abuse of opiates and related substances like fentanyl are deemed so important that it has a profound influence on our national immigration policy; some think it warrants military action in another sovereign nation. Obesity is treated as public health enemy no. 1 by the medical community and major pharmaceutical companies. Yet alcohol, which lays waste to generation after generation, receives very little attention and less action. It is so telling that the recent (yet not new) linkage between cancer and drinking makes headlines across the country but the long-established destructive outcomes associated with alcoholism remain an embarrassing afterthought. It is a national disgrace.
Well said! Estimates say there are 28M people with AUD who have 28M children. Let's imagine there are an additional 56M friends, spouses and partners of these people watching and caring for the person with AUD. Then, there's the health costs, economic costs and the generational costs. Plus the biggie: the emotional costs. The lifelong trauma. Let's not forget the deaths from drunk drivers. Why isn't this a national crisis? And 5th in the world in AUD. Is that something we are proud of?
Thank you for this. I'm so glad the Chicago Tribune published it, where many more people could read it. I was lucky to grow up in a teetotaling family, but for some reason, I wound up marrying two alcoholics, and raising one. My son died of hepatic encephalitis three years ago. Look it up, it's not pretty. I am still scarred and guilt-ridden from watching him die. I never confronted him about his drinking because I was afraid of angering him. I should have been braver.
I'm so sorry you lost your son. I googled hepatic encephalitis. It sounds painful to watch the person you love go through this. I'm sending you strength. LaVonne, I hope you are able to find some peace. We didn't confront my dad because we didn't know what to do. Who teaches us how to help someone who drinks to excess? No one. My mom taught me to be embarrassed about it. "Lie about why your dad is in the hospital." Our educators, social workers, parents and health professionals (bless their hearts) are not directed to conduct a mass educational campaign on how to help our loved ones who drink to excess. Drinking to excess is normalized and legal.
If you combine the number of people addicted to alcohol with the number of ppl addicted to opioids and sugar you will get around 💯 precent. The question for me is WHY do people get addicted what lies at the root of addiction and how we as a society fix it.
Great questions I don’t have an answer to. Knowing we are 5th in the world in AUD makes me know something is “in the water” meaning ancestry, genetics, environment, etc. Your thoughts?
I remain convinced that "they" don't want us acknowledging how dire it is because of the money involved. You can't watch TV without seeing ads for beer and gambling, and it feels pretty gross.
Also, I couldn't watch The Bear. It made me so anxious! 😂
Sounds like alcoholism was normalized in your family. Really entrenches. In my family my (adult child) parents became teetotalers and joined a fundamentalist religious cult. So alcohol for me (recovering for decades now) was a novelty but our family looked good next to active drinking families so that presented entrenched denial as well! Bottom line addiction in our culture is systemic and a many headed hydra. Cut one head off and seven grow back. It is encouraging to see alcohol culture slowly changing (like with cigarettes) becoming no longer so socially acceptable. I am committed to recovery and I believe it contributes to the collective evolution. Each one of us focusing on our own manifestations of addiction can make a difference. Then there’s capitalism…ha
Thank you, Don. I'm finding so many others here on Substack. I love this community. No hate. Just common ground and support for all bring to the community. A safe place to be transparent.
Really important work you're doing here. I will support this as much as I can. Sometimes the truth hurts. But letting some light into the darkness is a growth can begin.
U.S. Surgeon General Calls for Cancer Warnings on Alcohol
Dr. Vivek Murthy’s report cites studies linking alcoholic beverages to malignancies, including breast cancer. But to label them, Congress would have to act.
I saw that story and already submitted a response essay titled, "You will quit alcohol for cancer but not for your kids?" My draft warning label reads: WARNING: Drinking is addictive, can cause cancer and your drinking can harm your children.
BTW - the NYT rejected it but has been publishing numerous stories on alcohol this month. I'm not sure if it's because of Dry January or we are inspiring the conversation.
On Jan 15, it’ll be two years since my last drink. And it’s only when you’ve been away from it, looking at it from the outside that you realize it: everybody around you is getting hammered, all the time. Great piece
Thank you! There’s more to come. Did you see the piece in The NY Times today about the U.S. Surgeon General advising warning labels on alcohol ? There’s a movement starting.
Agree with this 100%!!
Congrats on two years in three days, Dan. It's much better being sober. I get it.
Totally.
Waaay too relatable for me. I had to get away from all the family toxicity caused by generations of drunkenness, and chose not to have children because I believe that there is a genetic component to alcoholism. Been a black sheep for 40 years because I wouldn't join in the partying, and only rarely have a drink. I'm still learning about the negative impacts it had on me during my childhood and all through young adulthood. Thank you for drawing attention to America's drug of choice. It's about time we stop denying that alcohol addiction is far more prevalent and destructive than folks want to let on.
Wise words. We are in an unfortunate club. I abandoned my parents like they abandoned me. There is definitely a genetic component. I did have children but likely drove them to therapy from my over reaction when they got drunk. Just normal college antics but it hit a few buttons. I like to say I did my job if my kids are in therapy by the time they are 40. I love your line “America’s drug of choice.” Thank you for reading it.
Very, very wise and true words.
Thank you for writing this piece. It will resonate with many people. Big Alcohol has its claws deep into American culture.
When traveling to other countries, I've noticed there isn't the emphasis on drinking that there is here. Trying to jumpstart the conversation. Great story in today's NYTimes about the correlation between breast cancer and alcohol. Maybe that will get everyone's attention. Thank you for your comment.
This is odd; husband is an alcoholic. He is in emergency ward. He passed out coming up from the basement. Called ambulance as he out weighs me by 76 lbs.
He is in hospital and I really don't want him back.
I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. Living with an addict drove my mother into deep depression and alcoholism herself. She ended up giving up on life and lying down on the sofa. When we found her she weighed 86 pounds and had Korsakoff’s Syndrome from alcohol withdrawal. Don’t let this happen to you. Therapy saved me. Take care, Elsie. ❤️
I have no intention of doing that. I'm taking his glasses to him today in the hospital. Hoping he has to stay a few days. I WON'T BE VISITING. HE CAN STAY THERE BY HIMSELF AND THINK
Checking in on how you are doing. No need to answer if you aren't up for it. I just remember going through this with my parents. It's a lonely place.
I hate the fact that I relate to this article so much. Well done! That scene in The Bear was so triggering and gave me so much anxiety!
I’m the adult child of two alcoholics, my dad died when he was 48 years old- a horrible death from alcoholism. My mom died 6 months ago after cancer surgery- she was sober off and on over the years. My sister is in recovery from opioid addiction. All of my trauma is from addiction in my family. Alcoholism is an epidemic that is multigenerational in many ways- it’s so sad. I’m trying so hard to break the cycle with my kids. To not pass on this trauma. I read a book called the Addiction Inoculation that was really helpful.
I'm so sorry you are a part of this terrible club of children of alcoholics. Thirty to 40% of us develop a substance abuse problem after growing up with alcoholics. You are not alone. Substack is a great place for us to talk and heal. I also worked very hard to break the cycle with my kids. I'm sure my over-the-top reaction to their college drinking will keep them in therapy for life. Haha! But neither of them drink much. I'm so thankful. My siblings also escaped but not without pain. Keep learning. I wish you strength.
@Joy V. is talking about it, too
When a legal option to numb your pain is so readily available, it’s no wonder people turn to it. I’ve seen lives and families destroyed by the need to cope with “something,” especially when that something is dangled as safe if used in moderation. Few have the willpower to resist, yet the blame of excess falls solely on them. Junk food, pornography, drugs, opioids, alcohol, social media etc. the access now is so easy. The addiction seems easy to create somehow. Thank you for sharing this, it really resonated but I imagine it brought back painful memories for you. Great read. ❤️
Well said. I loved "... dangled as safe if used in moderation." So true! Why isn't this a national initiative? There are billboards of people who have died from opioids. Imagine if we had billboards for people who have died from alcohol-related causes. We'd use every billboard.
Excellent and needed article. It is astonishing how the stigma of alcoholism still stands in the way of research and treatment of such a destructive and widespread disease (or disorder or whatever you choose to call it). Abuse of opiates and related substances like fentanyl are deemed so important that it has a profound influence on our national immigration policy; some think it warrants military action in another sovereign nation. Obesity is treated as public health enemy no. 1 by the medical community and major pharmaceutical companies. Yet alcohol, which lays waste to generation after generation, receives very little attention and less action. It is so telling that the recent (yet not new) linkage between cancer and drinking makes headlines across the country but the long-established destructive outcomes associated with alcoholism remain an embarrassing afterthought. It is a national disgrace.
Well said! Estimates say there are 28M people with AUD who have 28M children. Let's imagine there are an additional 56M friends, spouses and partners of these people watching and caring for the person with AUD. Then, there's the health costs, economic costs and the generational costs. Plus the biggie: the emotional costs. The lifelong trauma. Let's not forget the deaths from drunk drivers. Why isn't this a national crisis? And 5th in the world in AUD. Is that something we are proud of?
Thank you for this. I'm so glad the Chicago Tribune published it, where many more people could read it. I was lucky to grow up in a teetotaling family, but for some reason, I wound up marrying two alcoholics, and raising one. My son died of hepatic encephalitis three years ago. Look it up, it's not pretty. I am still scarred and guilt-ridden from watching him die. I never confronted him about his drinking because I was afraid of angering him. I should have been braver.
I'm so sorry you lost your son. I googled hepatic encephalitis. It sounds painful to watch the person you love go through this. I'm sending you strength. LaVonne, I hope you are able to find some peace. We didn't confront my dad because we didn't know what to do. Who teaches us how to help someone who drinks to excess? No one. My mom taught me to be embarrassed about it. "Lie about why your dad is in the hospital." Our educators, social workers, parents and health professionals (bless their hearts) are not directed to conduct a mass educational campaign on how to help our loved ones who drink to excess. Drinking to excess is normalized and legal.
If you combine the number of people addicted to alcohol with the number of ppl addicted to opioids and sugar you will get around 💯 precent. The question for me is WHY do people get addicted what lies at the root of addiction and how we as a society fix it.
Great questions I don’t have an answer to. Knowing we are 5th in the world in AUD makes me know something is “in the water” meaning ancestry, genetics, environment, etc. Your thoughts?
loneliness and emotional pain
I believe you ate right but what are we self medicating for
I remain convinced that "they" don't want us acknowledging how dire it is because of the money involved. You can't watch TV without seeing ads for beer and gambling, and it feels pretty gross.
Also, I couldn't watch The Bear. It made me so anxious! 😂
Sounds like alcoholism was normalized in your family. Really entrenches. In my family my (adult child) parents became teetotalers and joined a fundamentalist religious cult. So alcohol for me (recovering for decades now) was a novelty but our family looked good next to active drinking families so that presented entrenched denial as well! Bottom line addiction in our culture is systemic and a many headed hydra. Cut one head off and seven grow back. It is encouraging to see alcohol culture slowly changing (like with cigarettes) becoming no longer so socially acceptable. I am committed to recovery and I believe it contributes to the collective evolution. Each one of us focusing on our own manifestations of addiction can make a difference. Then there’s capitalism…ha
Excellent, Jane. So much of this resonates with me.
Thank you, Don. I'm finding so many others here on Substack. I love this community. No hate. Just common ground and support for all bring to the community. A safe place to be transparent.
Really important work you're doing here. I will support this as much as I can. Sometimes the truth hurts. But letting some light into the darkness is a growth can begin.
U.S. Surgeon General Calls for Cancer Warnings on Alcohol
Dr. Vivek Murthy’s report cites studies linking alcoholic beverages to malignancies, including breast cancer. But to label them, Congress would have to act.
I saw that story and already submitted a response essay titled, "You will quit alcohol for cancer but not for your kids?" My draft warning label reads: WARNING: Drinking is addictive, can cause cancer and your drinking can harm your children.
BTW - the NYT rejected it but has been publishing numerous stories on alcohol this month. I'm not sure if it's because of Dry January or we are inspiring the conversation.