An alcohol warning label for cancer but not for your kids?
WARNING: Drinking is addictive, can cause cancer and harm your children.
Dr. Vivek Murthy, the U.S. Surgeon General, issued an advisory calling for labels on alcoholic beverages due to growing research that heightens the risk for a least seven cancers. My dad drank a bottle of rye whiskey a day. My mom about half that. Drinking damaged their health but also did significant harm to their children. Why not consider a warning label on alcoholic beverages that lists the risks to children from parents who consume alcohol?
A case of alcohol filled the trunk on our family vacations. Social drinking at friend’s houses ended with fearful screams while my dad weaved down the road. Arguments between my parents heightened after a night of drinking.
By age ten I knew how to mix a perfect martini and top a beer with the correct amount of foam. Living with parents where alcohol was the center of our universe was like a growing lottery jackpot, each day added up. When the winning lottery numbers are called in the game of life, children of parents who drink a bit too much often lose. A study published in the medical journal Drug and Alcohol Review found that 33% to 40% of children affected by parental alcohol problems develop a substance-related disorder themselves.
Our emotional experiences as children affect our physical and mental health as adults. My parents owned a small-town Wisconsin tavern. Drunks dined with us on Christmas Eve, chased my mother around the kitchen table while begging for a kiss, and when dad asked a drunken patron to drive me to school, he tickled my neck all the way there.
Studies recognize nightmares as a symptom of complex trauma and a feature of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD or CPTSD), “common amongst combat veterans, people who have suffered from assault, abuse, a horrific accident or other serious events.” These serious events include being a child of two people who consistently drank to excess. My husband still wakes me from nightmares where men chase me and women drown me.
Some parents might argue they need a glass of wine to take the edge off from working at a stressful job, running a household and managing kids’ schedules and mental health. No doubt, the relaxation effect of alcohol works. But does numbing feelings help children? Would it be healthier for children to see their parents take an hour to themselves to read a book, exercise or meditate than sip two glasses of red wine?
Drinking alcohol is celebrated and normalized in our country. Children listen with fear their heroic parent could die while jumping from a snowbank onto a flaming folding table at a tailgate party (Bills fans?). Children are embarrassed to hear their drunken mother pulled down her pants and mooned someone from a car window (that would be me). Children note the laughter and attention their aunt receives for vomiting in the bushes while her girlfriend held her hair (every bridesmaid I know). By celebrating drunken behavior our society encourages the next generation to carry on the traditions and the nightmares.
Millions of people enjoy alcohol responsibly. What would a wedding celebration be without a champagne toast or a Friday night Happy Hour without a few beers? For those parents who can’t handle alcohol responsibly, we need preventive care for their children directed at future health risks in the form of increased training for parents, educators and health professionals.
Few good things happen after excessive drinking. According to a 2021 study, “the 24-hour period following alcohol intoxication is associated with a seven-fold increase in the risk for suicidal behavior.” And now we know the risk for cancers of the breast, mouth and the throat may rise with one drink a day, or less according to Dr. Murthy.
In the big game of raising healthy children is waking up with a hangover a good idea? Or is an increased risk of cancer a bigger motivation to quit or cut back on alcohol? Pick your warning label.
If you or a loved one struggle with addiction, help is available by calling 1-800-662-HELP.
“But does numbing feelings help children?” THIS!!
Gabor Mate talks about incongruency in childhood as one of the forms of CPTSD—a child feeling something is going on but the parent’s emotional display doesn’t match. Often the child will conclude that “what’s wrong” must be themselves. It seems like alcohol is a facilitator of this incongruency, always masking emotional truth and depriving a child the skills or even tolerance for navigating these truths.
Another powerful message. "Why not consider a warning label on alcoholic beverages that lists the risks to children from parents who consume alcohol?" (from this article)